Wellness

4 Signs You Self-Sabotage (And How To Stop)

I think it’s safe to say we have all fallen victim to self-criticism. There have been times where I kick myself for not running that extra mile or eating that extra slice of pizza. It is quite normal to feel disappointed with yourself for such things because it can give us a motivator to do and be better the next time.

However, it was not until I graduated college that I noticed I was doing more than just giving myself a slap on the hand for little things I wish I could have done better– I was sabotaging myself.

I felt useless because, while I got rejected from 20 different companies when I was applying for my first full-time job, it seemed all my friends got hired right away or landed dream positions. When I finally landed a job, I started to feel incompetent as I watched some other acquaintances choose to pursue graduate school and get accepted while I only had my two bachelor degrees, not doing much except clocking into work. And when I looked in the mirror, I hated what I saw because I just felt I would never be good enough.

It took a good talking to from some close friends, a weekend escape and a good read from this article to realize that I became my worst enemy and I was only hindering myself.

If my story sounds like yours, read on because chances are you are displaying these signs of self-sabotage:

 

 

Four Signs You Self-Sabotage & How To Stop

1. You fear failure so you’ve stopped trying.

Why you shouldn’t

Sabatoge 1

 

You have to be willing to try in order to discover for yourself what you are capable of accomplishing and overcoming.  It is important to know failure does not define who you are as a person – it is a process we all go through in order to succeed. Failure provides us the means to learn how to be better, to test new approaches and to stow away the ideas that did not work, putting you that much closer to succeeding.

 

2. You constantly compare yourself to others and believe everyone else is better than you for x, y and z reason.

Why you shouldn’t

Sabatoge 2

Instead of comparing yourself to others, learn how to compare yourself to yourself. Everyone follows a different path to happiness and success. It is too easy to compare your beginning to someone’s middle when you don’t know their struggles and stories of how they got to where they are. Furthermore, there is no standard of happiness and success since it is all subjective and based on what matters most to the individual person. Practice comparing yourself to yourself by thinking about how far you’ve come and the goals you want to achieve. Doing this and following your own standards will allow you to positively make changes for you alone and not because you think you have to keep up with other people.

 

3. You undermine your successes or are unable to celebrate your successes.

Why you shouldn’t

sabatoge 3

Remember, you’ve accomplished far more than someone who has not even tried. The fact that you accomplished something whether big or small should give you enough reason to smile and celebrate. You don’t have to save the world in order for your success to be meaningful. Did you manage to get to the gym today? Pat yourself on the back because that’s better than not going at all. Maybe tomorrow you’ll go again and a month from now you’ll be going five days a week. Every little success will add up to your big win in the every end.

 

4. You obsess over things that could/have gone wrong.

Why you shouldn’t

sabatoge 4

Instead of worrying about all that could/did go bad, focus on all that could/did go right. Shit happens. While we can’t always control what happens, we can control how we react to sticky situations. When shit hits the fan, you have to be able to pick yourself up and keep moving forward. When you focus so much on what could go wrong or what did go wrong, you rob yourself the opportunity to enjoy the good that will come out/has come out of a situation.

Are you a victim of self-sabotage? How did you overcome your struggles? What do you think is the hardest think about trying to not beat yourself up? Share your stories with me below!

 

alongcamekatrina.com

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