Wellness

How To Be Hopeful When Times Are Tough

For some, the holidays represent the most wonderful time of the year. For others, its happens to be the most stressful and that happens to be for my sister.

After  a long day of holiday shopping, I was riding passenger to my sister driving us home when we both saw her TPMS light turn on for the third time after just taking it the shop two days in a row to have it fixed. Immediately, I saw her eyes fill with tears as she began to break down.

When I asked “What’s wrong?” she told me, “How can I be happy when shit never goes right for me, even when I try to do the right thing? I am always alone and dependent on myself and it’s hard.” Having to hear that from my own older sister broke my heart.

The past four years, especially the holidays have been everything but wonderful for my sister. From having her engine break down on the way to a New Years Ever party, where the car had to be towed that evening and replaced, to being assaulted outside of a bar where she now permanently lives with a metal implant to correct the positioning of her arm, something as small as a TPMS turning on was enough to push her over the edge. That’s something we can all relate to – that overwhelming feeling of being constantly defeated and finally having enough.

We’ve all experienced some kind of rough patch in life, and unfortunately,  some worst than others. For the past month, I took a hiatus from blogging because I was struggling with my own personal demons. After some time to reflect, refocus and reconnect with myself, I have managed to pull myself out of the dark hole I crawled into. And after hearing my sister break down, I was afraid she did not believe she could pull herself out from the sadness that was consuming her.

For all those facing the holidays with sadness in your heart, I dedicate this post to you (including you, dear sister) because I share your pain and I know there is always hope. Even when you feel down on your luck, here are four to be hopeful when times are tough.

 

How To Be Hopeful When Times Are Tough

 

1.  You are not alone.

Along Came Katrina Ups & Downs

Maybe you support yourself. Or maybe you feel as if the world is against you. I want you to know you are not alone. Despite what you may think, there are others out there that are struggling with battles similar to yours. Surround yourself with the those who love, care and support you. Studies have shown that having and embracing social support is one of the biggest predictors of resilience after a trauma.

When you seek the support of others, such as talking to a friend about your struggles or reaching out for help, this can help you develop a level of comfort and safety to be hopeful for what’s to come. No one ever got where they were without help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it most.

 

2. Focus on what’s good.

Along Came Katrina - Faith

When we go through difficult times, it becomes far too easy to overlook our everyday successes. Are you living paycheck to paycheck but managed to pay off the bills or feed yourself? That’s an accomplishment! Maybe you live in a less than glamorous apartment yet you’re managing to put yourself through school so one day you won’t have to. KUDOS!

If you’re reading this now, then realize you are doing so much better than you think you are. You obviously know what you want, and don’t want, and when you’re doing all that you can to make shit happen even as you encounter bumps in the road, that means you’re choosing to conquer. Life is hard enough as is; don’t be so hard on yourself.

 

3. Hang on to hope.

Along Came Katrina - Hope

When you’re feeling lost and ready to give in, chances are you might have strayed away from what you believe in, what there is to be hopeful for and why. How can you be hopeful when you feel down on your luck? Studies have shown being hopeful is more than a feel-good emotion; it’s actually a cognitive motivation mindset that helps set you up for success. Being hopeful is more than simply being optimistic; it means you believe in yourself enough to know you have the power and knowledge to achieve your goals. While life is unpredictable  and there will always be things out of our control, the one thing you have control of is your happiness.

 

4. Remember your “why.”

Along Came Katrina - Positive Thinking

And when things get tough, whether you are busting your ass over three-part time jobs or things are not going your way, remember the reason why you’re doing what you’re doing. You are not stuck. Every day you continue to focus and work toward your “why” means a day closer to where you want to be.

 

Have you gone through, or are going through, a rough patch? How do you find hope during these tough times? More than happy to provide some social support <3

Along Came Katrina Signature

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16 Comment

  1. Reply
    Jane Porterfield
    December 12, 2016 at 1:17 am

    It can be hard to pull yourself out of a rut and I’ve been in that place a number of times. One thing that has helped me a lot is my sense of humor. When I’m lucky, I can also look at my situation and realize that there are those who are worse off than me, and that really helps. All we have is today, so if we can deal with our “stuff” just for one day, the more days we can put in, the sooner our attitude will change. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Reply
      Katrina
      December 12, 2016 at 10:57 pm

      Hi Jane! I totally agree with you in regardless to being able to “laugh” at yourself. And yes when I think about my problem and issues, they always seem so much smaller to others around me going through tougher times. I always try and remember that when I hit my lows. Thanks so much for reading!

  2. Reply
    Vincent Carabeo
    December 14, 2016 at 9:03 am

    Currently traveling through SE Asia because I feel so lost with life these days so I decided to just wing it and travel a bit. These are so relatable and helpful! Thanks for sharing this.

    1. Reply
      Katrina
      December 14, 2016 at 9:41 am

      Hi Vincent! That sounds amazing. You know what they say; not all those who wander are lost 🙂 Have a wonderful time and thanks for stopping by!

  3. Reply
    Ivonne
    December 18, 2016 at 6:02 am

    It’s unfortunate that so many people struggle and I can really relate to that. Being hopeful and working towards a better tomorrow with a sense of humour works for me. You can only go so low before things starting to change and hopefully for the positive; there is light at the end of the tunnel.

  4. Reply
    Girl @ girlintherapy.com
    December 18, 2016 at 11:31 am

    I can relate to your 4 points. Especially the first one. I typically feel alone in most things (that’s why I started my blog to tell people that they aren’t), and isolation is a symptom of my “disease”.
    Therapy and Codependents Anonymous changed my life. Before that, I personally wouldn’t be able to attempt the 4 ways you listed, my mental health was at its worst. But now, I definitely can, and your post is a great reminder 🙂

  5. Reply
    Internationalcaty
    December 18, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    I sympathize with your sister. Earlier this year I felt this. Every now and I then I go through it. I then I have remember the good things and have positive thoughts.

  6. Reply
    Agnes
    December 18, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    Being someone who grew up struggling, I can totally relate and love this post. One thing that helped me is always being hopeful and hard work.

  7. Reply
    Nellwyn
    December 18, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    Sorry to hear that your sister is having a hard time, but thank you for sharing your tips on staying positive and hopeful! I hope things take a turn for the better for her.

  8. Reply
    Chelsea
    December 18, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    I needed to see this. 2016 has been a bummer.

  9. Reply
    Raluca
    December 18, 2016 at 7:40 pm

    Uf, I really needed to read this! I am having a difficult time right now and your post was so full of hope! I will try more often to remember my “why”, I thing it’s a great exercise for bringing hope in difficult times!

  10. Reply
    Heather Denniston
    December 18, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    It is always a shift to keep focusing on the positive even when it is only a tiny glimmer of hope. Great post.

  11. Reply
    andrea
    December 18, 2016 at 7:48 pm

    This is one I go back to again & again (Remember your “why.”) Great list! Thanks for sharing I know a lot of people going through some pretty tough times right now; will be passing this on.

  12. Reply
    Amber Myers
    December 18, 2016 at 8:04 pm

    I love this! I always try to focus on the good when I’m feeling down. Sometimes it helps.

  13. Reply
    Angie Rose
    December 18, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    This is so helpful! I think we all go through ups and downs, and it’s important to try and combat the downs with hope. Positive thinking seems so obvious, but when we are down, it’s easy to find this tough. I always remind myself that so much can change in a year, and you never know what good things are to come.

  14. Reply
    Shelby Bromley
    December 19, 2016 at 7:13 pm

    As hard as it can be to try to be hopeful, stay positive is so important. I’ve been going though my marriage ending this past month and find hope in my future hasn’t been easy, but I’m keeping my chin up. I hope you have a great rest of the month!

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